'Love contracts' at work

[Wolf]

Office romance may not be the taboo it once was, but employers aren't taking any chances. » Would you sign this?

[elsiewelsie]

That would be definite No for me. I would not ever sign anything like that.
I would do my job as I'm supposed to do it, and, even though some flirting and taking coffee breaks together etc is not a problem, keep my love life out of my work life. There are some unwritten rules that everyone should adhere to.
One is: don't let your work suffer under any personal problems that you might have.
If, for any chance, a romance at work goes wrong, then be professional enough to not let that interfere with work.
If you can't, get another job.

All in all: if I do my job correctly (and the one I would be having an affair with as well), then my boss has no business in my personal life.
So no, I wouldn't sign it.

Els

[retort]

i'm not so sure the employers are worried about the work suffering, since if it does then there's reason to fire no matter what the cause.

i think they're more worried about harrassment suits and things like that since if someone gets into a relationship with someone else in a position of power then they can potentially turn around and claim that they used that power in an inappropriate way.

[elsiewelsie]

i think they're more worried about harrassment suits and things like that since if someone gets into a relationship with someone else in a position of power then they can potentially turn around and claim that they used that power in an inappropriate way.

Sorry to say, but that is probably the US way.
In Europe people are more relaxed concerning this, and judges would dismiss such claims immediately.
A relationship is between two people, who happen to be working at the same workplace. If it ends, it is their personal issue, and not one of the company. That is why judges here would be offended if someone would make a claim because of this against a company.
It's a personal thing and has nothing to do with the company. It would happen sooner that companies would sue the two problem makers for having to pay the search for new people and paying the cost of firing these two, then that a worker can sue the company.

Yes, relationships between people in power and people lower in the company are discouraged usually, but not for the reason that one of them might sue the company.
You can turn this around as well: can someone sue the company because they don't let them pursue the love of their life? (Yes, I agree, it sounds just as stupid)

Els

[retort]

So in Europe there have been no cases where someone higher up abused their power by saying something like 'go out with me or I'll fire you'?  It can even work in the opposite way, where someone lower down abuses the system as a way of getting back at someone by claiming that they were blackmailed into the relationship.

That's what the companies are protecting themselves against. The contract would basically tell the company that both parties are involved out of their own free will.  I agree that it shouldn't have to be this way but I can see where companies are coming from by trying to protect themselves.

The companies aren't banning two people from getting involved, they're just trying to legally sever the ties between work and home so that, if it should come to it, legal cases aren't based on one's word against another's.

[jondavx]

in past lives,  i have had office romances. in all 3 (yes 3) cases the ending of those romances made for some uncomfortable meetings, but we did act professionally and do our jobs.

i would not sign an anti-office-romance contract. statistically a high proportion of relationships start in the workplace.

jon

[craig27]

I met my girlfriend at work, common for accountants to do that.  It has worked out great, we don't work together anymore though, we quit and moved 5 months after we started dating.

[elsiewelsie]

The contract would basically tell the company that both parties are involved out of their own free will.

That is something that most European countries take for granted.

they're just trying to legally sever the ties between work and home so that, if it should come to it, legal cases aren't based on one's word against another's.

And that has to do with the legal system.
I'm under the impression that in the US laws are taken literally, and then you get these kinds of problems.
In the Netherlands common sense is what is most asked for in a judge.

An often heard thing on the internet: An American woman put her dog into a microwave and sued the producer of the company and won because the manual didn't say that she shouldn't do that. It's common sense, people.

In the cases you mention (one blackmailing the other), in the Netherlands the person accusing the supposed blackmailer has to prove that he/she was blackmailed. Innocent until proven guilty.

Els

[NickLPMA]

interestingly, there is a company in Japan that is now extending what amounts to bereavement leave for people who have suffered a break-up/divorce on the presumption the worker will not be productive while coping with the loss of a relationship.

It's tough, I think especially when more and more of our lives are devoted to labor-time--we tend to form social bonds with the people we are around the most, and that for too many (I believe) is the workplace....

[Borntobenude]

I've always made a point to keep my love life and work life separate anyway. If it ends up not working out, yet you're still co-workers and have to see each other everyday at the office, it makes for an uncomfortable situation.

[Danee]

I like the word discretion being emphasized in the video.  That to me, is the key.  I agree if one person knows about a romance or even a hook-up, it will get out in the work place somehow eventually.  Would I sign it?  Oh, I suppose I would as while I completely understand where Els is coming from, in the U.S. this can be a problem with all the sue, sue, sue mentality.  One enters into any type of relationship at work with full knowledge that it is the responsbility of you and you only if it goes wrong. 

Some companies have rules that expressly forbid that though (relationships) and I do not like that at all.

-D

[Nudly]

I suppose it would have to depend on the job and the duties involved. I reserve judgement until a later date.

[retort]

And that has to do with the legal system.
I'm under the impression that in the US laws are taken literally, and then you get these kinds of problems.
In the Netherlands common sense is what is most asked for in a judge.

ahh, even more reason to like the Netherlands more than North America Some people are such sticklers for the law that it gets in the way of common sense..

[Wolf]

I'm under the impression that in the US laws are taken literally, and then you get these kinds of problems.
In the Netherlands common sense is what is most asked for in a judge.
Els

Ooh, that must be nice!  U.S. laws are taken word for word, and what they "could" mean. Here in the states, no one can agree on how our laws are meant to be interpreted, so each judge, lawyer ect.. does so how they want. Weather a case wins or loses in this case more or less depends on if a lawyer can convince the jury/judge that Their interpretation is the corrected one in that particular instance. Our system seems to be all about that, and finding loopholes, instead of upholding the integrity of what our forefathers Intended the law to mean.

That said, Danee is correct. Our country is Sue happy. They will find any reason to sue someone if they think they can get money out of it. I think this contract is meant to release the company from any responsibility if it goes wrong, so that couple cannot try to call harassment or whatever in retaliation for it going wrong or because they don't want to work with them.

Its stupid that company's feel such things are necessary, or that U.S. citizens are so immature in their behavior that it requires a written rule for them to behave how they should all along. Its similar to the prenup imo. People cant work out problems for themselves, and to prevent them involving the government, they made up this agreement.


I think our country needs counseling, or a spanking.