MSN messenger adds, (and others) IMPORTANT!!!!!

[Wolf]

Now, I don't think it is at all a coincidence that in this thread Danee, myself and Amy think it is a real issue, and that the immediate 2 respondents in the messageboard rule thread, saying they thought it was a good rule, were Marisol and Katie ( KC ).

I would like to point out, that while the females of this board have likely taken the brunt of this annoyance, females are not the only ones falling victim to it, and thus are not any more important than anyone else being annoyed by it. Regardless if they are a smaller population.

I am merely pointing this out because this isn't a gender specific problem, as I have pointed out before. No offense to any of you ladies here, but i get just as annoyed as you about this.

That said, its obvious that the females are the main target of this problem, and it needs to stop, because it makes it obvious the reasons Why they are the main target.

[Danee]

  Wolfie.  Very true.  Thanks.

[retort]

Do you want us to start asking for names of these causing problems ?  In short, do you want us to have to start taking action against some people ? Because, unless some attitudes change around here, we may have to.

yes, i think the best way is to hold people accountable.  i'm surprised you don't ask for names already and keep track of who's being complained about.  if someone's harassing someone privately why should they keep the privilege of posting publicly?

[sara]

Do you want us to start asking for names of these causing problems ?  In short, do you want us to have to start taking action against some people ? Because, unless some attitudes change around here, we may have to.

yes, i think the best way is to hold people accountable.  i'm surprised you don't ask for names already and keep track of who's being complained about.  if someone's harassing someone privately why should they keep the privilege of posting publicly?

What I am talking about here is not full scale harrassment.  I would expect any member who is really being harassed by a YNAI member to let a mod / admin know.

No, we are talking about the annoying, bad mannered practice of apparently still too many folk of adding people as messenger contacts without any prior introduction and request.  This is a forum with a PM facility, so it would be good if folk could use it ( once any newbies have settled in ) to introduce yourself if you would maybe like to have someone as a messenger contact.

We have tried appealing to people's best natures, Danee then added a rule, and again politely pointed out the "problem", but apparently it's still going on.  Generally no particular individuals are being complained about but it is more that some newbies say they are getting loads of contact requests from folk that turn out to be YNAI members.

So, I was just speculating on what more we could do.  But again, for now, I just say, please take account of what folk have been saying and asking, whether you are thinking of adding a newbie or a longer standing member as a contact.

Sara

[retort]

hmm, yea i see what you're saying. i started typing a possible solution based on post count and being able to PM before you can see profiles, but i realized it's still easy enough to up your post count and not necessarily let the board get to know you.  ultimately granting profile viewing manually would work but would be way too much work for the staff.

i still say ask for the names of whoever's adding without asking and keep track of them privately to see if it's the same people every time, and then decide what to do.

[elsiewelsie]

First of all, we rely on members to report people who still do this.
If it is not clear how to come in contact with a staff member, click the Staff List button in the menu bar above.
There are all the profiles of the Staff listed, including contact details.
I urge all members who got added without their consent to contact us.

Secondly, it has happened that new members got bombarded and overwhelmed with pm's and asking for messenger addresses, and that they, because of that, decided not to return to our forum. We can not and will not have such behaviour!
Before you ask for anyone's details or even send a pm to a brand new member, think about it: how would you feel if you are bombarded with pm's, the minute you register on a forum? Wouldn't you think: what a bunch of weirdos, let's get the hell out of here.
In other words: let them settle a bit.

This doesn't only count for new members though. Also (more or less) regular people should be contacted in a decent and polite way first, before adding them to your messengers. "Decent and polite" are the key words here, people.

Be aware that we will act upon complete disregard of this.
It is sad that we have to have this rule at all. It should be obvious.

Treat others as you want others to treat you.

Els

[Shane_e]

Now, I don't think it is at all a coincidence that in this thread Danee, myself and Amy think it is a real issue, and that the immediate 2 respondents in the messageboard rule thread, saying they thought it was a good rule, were Marisol and Katie ( KC ).

I would like to point out, that while the females of this board have likely taken the brunt of this annoyance, females are not the only ones falling victim to it, and thus are not any more important than anyone else being annoyed by it. Regardless if they are a smaller population.

I am merely pointing this out because this isn't a gender specific problem, as I have pointed out before. No offense to any of you ladies here, but i get just as annoyed as you about this.

That said, its obvious that the females are the main target of this problem, and it needs to stop, because it makes it obvious the reasons Why they are the main target.

well said, i tend to agree

[Bobbert]

Would it make any sense for messenger screen names of new members not to be visible to normal members for a little while after registration?  That way they would have a little time to settle in before anyone could contact them outside of the forum.

[sara]

Clearly, noone is asking folk to put MSN / Yahoo addys on their profile in the first place.

I'm personally a bit reluctant to have to do as you suggest.  It's a bit of an admission that hi new members, we can't let you have your IM addresses showing, because we don't trust some of our members.

I really did think we could rely on good sense and manners of our established members, but the message is still apparently not getting through to some   

[the nude topher]

Clearly, noone is asking folk to put MSN / Yahoo addys on their profile in the first place.

I'm personally a bit reluctant to have to do as you suggest.  It's a bit of an admission that hi new members, we can't let you have your IM addresses showing, because we don't trust some of our members.

I really did think we could rely on good sense and manners of our established members, but the message is still apparently not getting through to some   

I agree.

If someone doesn't want to be contacted there is no requirement to have your msn/yahoo/aim's posted. I think we have to be mature enough to agree that if we get contacted by someone, who for any reason, we don't want to talk to then we know how to use the ignore features. Also, we need to be mature enough to say that one or two people that we don't want to talk to doesn't reflect badly upon the whole Y community.

[summernights]

ok, danee, I understand. Thanks!
bye

[sara]

Warnings have today been issued to some folk re the ongoing problem of MSN addys without any prior indication of who is doing the adding.

Sara

[HelicopterBob]

Would it make any sense for messenger screen names of new members not to be visible to normal members for a little while after registration?  That way they would have a little time to settle in before anyone could contact them outside of the forum.

Clearly, noone is asking folk to put MSN / Yahoo addys on their profile in the first place.

I'm personally a bit reluctant to have to do as you suggest.  It's a bit of an admission that hi new members, we can't let you have your IM addresses showing, because we don't trust some of our members.

I really did think we could rely on good sense and manners of our established members, but the message is still apparently not getting through to some   

I agree.

If someone doesn't want to be contacted there is no requirement to have your msn/yahoo/aim's posted. I think we have to be mature enough to agree that if we get contacted by someone, who for any reason, we don't want to talk to then we know how to use the ignore features. Also, we need to be mature enough to say that one or two people that we don't want to talk to doesn't reflect badly upon the whole Y community.

After all this agreeing, I am doing now, I must also admit that I haven't been around much lately.  Which mostly do work and computer issues.